We had our second session of marriage counseling over the weekend. I was very skeptical to the entire concept for a few reasons. First , I have heard some dreadful stories from friends about the experiences they had with it. Also, we are being married by a Reverend but we do not attend church regularly. This was a little intimidating at first, but part of me really wanted to be married by a religious figure. I suppose it has to do with the “in the presence of family, friends, and God” vow situation.
Despite all negative notions, we really enjoyed our sessions with Reverend McVeigh – Roy. The first time we met, he spent time getting to know us as a couple. I loved this. I love knowing that the person who will be performing our ceremony knows “us” as “us”. He spoke to us a little about the sanctity of marriage and how important it is to stay in love. Simple enough, right? Our homework for this session was to watch a 4 part DVD and to complete a test. The DVD was also entitled “Staying in Love”. We watched it and actually quite enjoyed it. It was realistic and simple yet highlighted some important areas that I honestly believe can make or break a marriage. It’s great to put these concepts out there issues arise. A marriage is work and I am confident that these principles will help us conquer these issues that will inevitably emerge at some point.
A few of the concepts I liked are:
Remember “love” is a verb. Feeling love is easy, the action requires more effort.- Make your partner your priority. Both partners should do this.
- Don’t assume the worst. Believe the best. Your partner does not want to disappoint you. Mistakes happen, but you have to move past them.
The test had us answer questions about the other on issues, primarily communication. There were no right or wrong answers it was just something for us to think about. It was to identify areas that are not necessarily problem areas now, but could become such in the future. Roy didn’t read our answers, it was just for us. Very insightful.
Our second session on Saturday just went over key elements from the DVD and another author that Roy believes are the foundation for a healthy marriage. He made sure to emphasize that he is not telling us HOW to live our marriage, simply challenging us to open lines of communication that may not be open with a newly married couple. He was excited and encouraging, while helping us grow as a couple. Cheesy enough for you? But it’s true!
The bottom line is this. I highly recommend an experience like this if the person who is proving the counseling has a positive outlook and energy that he/she can pass along to you!
2 months until I’m Mrs. E!
